As I turned 30 recently, this question has been surfacing a lot in my mind when I discuss with others this concept of being ‘grown up’ or an ‘adult’. I constantly see people hash-tagging their photos with #adulting and/or #grownup, on pictures of new houses (whether it’s the house itself, or the for sale sign, new keys, etc), marriages, babies, etc. You know the pictures I am talking about, all those milestones in life we use to define being ‘grown up’.
Then I reflect back on my own life and sometimes I feel like a defective model, that I was put together imperfectly, somehow slightly different than the rest. But then I remember, I was not created on an assembly line; I created myself through the experiences I’ve had and the way in which I choose to live my life. My life, my choice. Defective or not, doesn’t make me any less happy about the person I’ve become thus far. This is me, the real me; even if it’s just the me right now. I am still learning. Still experiencing. Constantly changing. Constantly evolving. Never a grown up, cause I am always growing.
And that’s the kicker isn’t it? How can we expect people to ‘grow up’, if we are in a constant state of growing. And we are always telling kids to ‘grow up’, especially teenagers. “Why can’t you just grow up?”. But what does that mean? Once we are ‘grown up’, is that it? Do we stop growing? Are we not constantly changing, evolving, and growing throughout our entire lives? So how can we grow up? It makes it sound like an end destination, once you get to it, that’s it, you’re done. And I don’t know about you but that sounds pretty boring to me.
I need a life of constant change, hence why I am constantly uprooting myself in search for new places to explore, new experiences to have, new sights to see. Through these experiences, I am in a constant state of change, allowing my life to follow whatever path I choose that day. Just cause yesterday I may have wanted life to go a certain way, doesn’t mean today I have to want the same thing. Just because over a year ago I was content with being on my own, and traveling solo, and living a truly solivagant life, doesn’t mean I can’t fall in love and be happy sharing this ‘solivagant’ life with someone else. What do words mean, but whatever we chose for them to mean in the context of our own lives?
But I digress, the words I am truly interested in writing about is ‘grown-up’. When I look up the definition it is defined as ‘fully grown’. So I guess, you can say I have peter pan syndrome, I don’t want to grow up, because if being grown-up means I stop growing, count me out. Hey lost boys, you have room for a lost girl in your squad?
i am not the word 
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